Not only is this one of my biggest pet peeves, it’s also one of my own worst qualities. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that I had studied it as a skill and become a Jedi Master of the trade. Seriously. I would like to tell myself that it’s because I “like things to be a certain way” and chock it up as this fluffy and beneficial quality. But the truth is, it is just another way that anxiety makes itself known in our everyday lives. It is our insecurities setting up camp on our shirt sleeve, and parading themselves to the world.
So, now that we are here, acknowledging what the origin of this behavior is, why are we not correcting it? Probably because we are still sitting here overthinking why we were overthinking in the first place. It sounds crazy, I know, but it’s true. Those who experience this understand! By now it has become a habit, it has become our nature, this toxic behavior has crept in and, unbeknownst to us, developed into our own version of “normal”. Unfortunately, like all other bad habits, this one is also hard to kick!
It is also a behavior, and symptom, that can not be simplified, or minimized. For those who experience this daily trial, it is much more than “worry”, “stress”, or “just a little anxiety”. It can become a sort of obsession that we may not even realize exists. We spend altogether too much time trying to figure out why this vicious cycle has started, while worrying ourselves into a frenzy of problems that are only imaginary. Ruminating can end up feeling like traveling down a windy road into the depths of a forest, with no way out. It is overwhelming, dark, and causes a sense of panic. The constant subsequent behaviors that result from this may cause difficulties in our relationships, workplace, personal growth or wellness, and more.
It’s a bad habit, and it has to stop now.
“Overthinking is the biggest cause of unhappiness.”
So what do we do?
Be aware of change. It’s going to happen, and we know that, but are you aware of when it does? Awareness of change has to be the first step to overcoming any challenge.
Know that you can’t control everything. The things that take up most of my worries, and that I spend the most time ruminating on, are things out of my control. Stop it. You are one person. Not everything is within your control. Let it be.
Focus on the positive. Looking for the negative seems to be one of the things that, us humans, are best at. Find the positive and keep your focus on that. If you think negatively, negativity will blossom.
Do your best, accept the rest. All you can ever do is your best. Put your best foot forward and have faith that positivity will flow from that. Accept that you’ve done your best and that is all you can do.
I continually repeat a simple mantra to myself when I feel as though my mind is spinning out of control. One that grounds me & reminds me that the present should be my focus, not the unknowns of the future. Be here, now.